this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
