Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
