It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
