dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize