I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
