Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
