How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Every concussion has its silver lining
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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