Umm I'm too high to move.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
