YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
