U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
