I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
