I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
