I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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