so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
