Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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