Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
