I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
