After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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