apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
