She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
