On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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