we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
