tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize