What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
