Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
