His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Success! We fucked roommates!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
