thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
