Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
