Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
