i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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