she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
