I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Pooping to opera.
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