Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize