oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
