Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
