So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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