Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
