Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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