an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Thank you for not boning my boss.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
