Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
