party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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