He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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