Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize