i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
