I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
