If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
