3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
