I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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