We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
