just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
