carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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