I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
