So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize