I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
