There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
please come you make the beer taste better
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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