surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
