you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
