I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize