i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
