Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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