We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
