she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i drank out of a bidet.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
