Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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