Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
