Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
