i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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