You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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