im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
where are my eyebrows?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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