If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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