Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
