Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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