I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
