guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
false alarm. still invincible.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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