How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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