would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
